I decided to go for a walk with my boy and scrolled through youtube for a sermon. I have always learned so much from the way Francis Chan teaches so I searched his messages. What got my attention was one titled "A personal relationship with God." It's funny how sometimes what catches our attention are the things that we either want more of or have been lacking. I was lacking. Though I was showing up daily in my devotions, my mind + heart were not there. Worst, my ears weren't really listening.
So I began to listen. He drew us to the book of Exodus chapter 33. As I began to hear him teach I started to tear up while walking. Shoot. Here it comes. The conviction. In this passage God is telling Moses “Leave this place, you and the people you brought up out of Egypt, and go up to the land I promised on oath to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, saying, ‘I will give it to your descendants.’ I will send an angelbefore you and drive out the Canaanites, Amorites, Hittites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites. Go up to the land flowing with milk and honey. But I will not go with you, because you are a stiff-necked people and I might destroy you on the way.”
What caught my attention was MOSES' RESPONSE in verse 15: “If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?”
Wow. How many times have I been willing to take the promise land without God really being behind it?! Hard question. This doesn't have to be just business related, friend. Plug anything in. A relationship. Marriage. Career. Promotion. ANYTHING. What is your promise land? Would you have taken the deal without God?
When I became a coach I told God HIS way not mine. No matter the pace. No matter the cost. His way. And yet, in the last couple of months there has been more human hustle than reliance on God's grace. Don't misunderstand me, friend. God's Grace + human effort work hand in hand to bring a harvest. But on my end there was way more hustle. I lost sight of God in the equation.
No I am not quitting. Coaching IS my calling. I believe that. And our team IS growing with amazing women I know God has been bringing us. Clients are finding transformation in their wellness. What needs to change is ME. All those things can happen, my business CAN succeed without God. Just look at the world. You will find many who have success and God isn't in the equation. So why should I care?
I care because knowing Christ and being known by Him is all I desire. So if HE is NOT behind this. Why would I want it? Why would it set me apart? I would just look like the world. The point is to point others TO Christ not to myself. This morning I finally said it "I don't want the harvest; I don't want the promise land unless you go with me." I meant it. It took 5 days but now I mean it.
Why am I sharing this with you? Because God's Word is a light to our path, friend. We will lose our way. We may falter. But if we are walking with God, He will always gently draw us back (or in my case it's quite stern because I am super stubborn). So my next steps are this:
1) Ensure that I am not moving ahead of God or behind God but WITH God-side by side.
2) Begin my business hours with intentional prayer. Prayer over how I lead, our team, our clients, our vision, and our season.
3) Re-evaluate where I am standing weekly.
4) Be open and honest with my team when I struggle.
May we move forward today as confident as Moses was in his response; that we would not move unless God's presence is moving with us.
A Bit About ME!
Hey friend! My name is Caren and I am so glad you stopped by! This blog is a bit of my corner on the internet where I share honest thoughts about my faith journey, fitness journey, doctor wife journey, and motherhood journey. ALL of it! The good bad and ugly! I pray that something I share encourages you today!