Is it the right time?
There is in fact a fourth question.
I knew the Holy Spirit was trying to speak Truth to my spirit. "Caren, this is good and it will come... but not just yet."
Can I just pretend I didn't hear that and still try?!? I tried.
Thankfully, I decided to consult with my father about this vision. My dad and I are very close and we are very similar in personality. As I shared with him the visions and dreams I have, he agreed that all are attainable and match my skill set and personality. With that said, he warned me. He said, "If you prematurely jump into this without yet having a firm foundation, it may not survive." He continued by giving the example of how babies need 9 months in the womb for a reason. If they are born prematurely, it can be dangerous.
I knew God was speaking through my father in that moment and trying to steady my antsy heart. I am where I am now for a reason and for a season. I need to live in the moment; to learn and grow where I am because I know God will never waste a consecrated life.
Basically, I am not ready. It was another lesson in humility and trust.
To top it off, this was from Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest on January 4th, 2015:
There are times when you can’t understand why you cannot do what you want to do. When God brings a time of waiting, and appears to be unresponsive, don’t fill it with busyness, just wait. The time of waiting may come to teach you the meaning of sanctification— to be set apart from sin and made holy— or it may come after the process of sanctification has begun to teach you what service means. Never run before God gives you His direction. If you have the slightest doubt, then He is not guiding. Whenever there is doubt— wait.
So here I am, actively waiting. Why is it active? Because I will not just sit on my couch and wait. No. I will live today, seek FIRST His Kingdom, and give Him praise and wait until He gives me clear instructions for the next step.
A Bit About ME!
Hey friend! My name is Caren and I am so glad you stopped by! This blog is a bit of my corner on the internet where I share honest thoughts about my faith journey, fitness journey, doctor wife journey, and motherhood journey. ALL of it! The good bad and ugly! I pray that something I share encourages you today!