For so long I have depended on my willpower and discipline alone to fix my soul. I strive, I push and I try harder for me to find that it does not recover my life and my soul. I've come to realize that until I've worked up a good appetite for God I will always be dissatisfied and discontent (Matthew 5:6 MSG). I also now I understand that as I allow Jesus to heal me there is also responsibility that comes with wellness. Having more time at home has produced more difficulty than ease. It is forcing me to face myself and last night the three words that describe me best were: deflated, defeated, and discouraged. So hearing Jesus' words from Matthew 11 were beyond fitting. I am tired, I am worn out, and I hate admitting it. The good news, however, is that I believe God is already at work in my life because I wouldn't want more of him unless the Holy Spirit was first seeking me. So, I'm grateful for the conviction that I have been doing it on my own and that is why I continue to be dry. So today I am recommitting myself to following him and only looking to him to find who I am.
Transformation cannot happen unless I keep company with Jesus and I KNOW that I have not been in company with him fully, truly, and deeply in some time. I am in need of a new beginning; the way I am walking is exhausting and it's not working. I am seeing now that God is inviting me into HIS rest; a rest that transforms and satisfies. My OWN rest has been filled with worry, fear, and a high regard for myself. HIS rest is filled with joy, peace, and a high regard for HIM which is what nourishes and grows my faith.
So, sweet friend, perhaps you are in a similar place as me or perhaps you remember being in this place before. Regardless of where you are, just know that God doesn't move, we do. Run back to him and He will lead you beside still waters and restore your soul.
A Bit About ME!
Hey friend! My name is Caren and I am so glad you stopped by! This blog is a bit of my corner on the internet where I share honest thoughts about my faith journey, fitness journey, doctor wife journey, and motherhood journey. ALL of it! The good bad and ugly! I pray that something I share encourages you today!